Political My views and what I learned

Discussion in 'Political Banter' started by Trax, Oct 23, 2018.

  1. Trax

    Trax Dedicated Poster

    Unless you are on the Fantasy Football thread then you might not know me. I posted on the Moved thread and people completely missed my point. FFS. I said that special interest groups and the metoo movement were taking away a basic protection of our judicial system. Innocent until proven guilty. Terry suggested that I create my own thread and clearly state my political, religious and philosophical beliefs so that readers have a chance to stop reading if they want to so here goes:
    I am a 28 year old female. I am stripper. We own our own business. Both my husband and I graduated college. We own our own home. I'm a survivor of both sexual abuse and prejudice. We are crime victims. My parents are die hard Republicans but I consider my self a free thinking conservative. I'm not religious but tell people I'm spiritual. I try to respect other people's views and opinions but have very little tolerance for people that think their opinion is better just because of their education or how many letters they have after their name. I volunteer at a battered women's shelter. My brother is a heroin addict that is currently clean and rebuilding his life.
    Be honest not just with me but yourself. How many people reading this reread the statement that I am a stripper or at least kept it in their minds while reading the rest of my backstory? If so then you are as big a part of the problem as the people that call others ******s or fags or *******s or any other words that separates one person from another. Stop reading here and think about that.

    Did my comment about your education and letters after your name ruffle your feathers?
    How about my political leanings or sexual abuse or being a crime victim? Did any of that affect your view of me? Did any of you get offended by my comment that some people missed my point in the Moved thread? Then you missed my point. I wasn't condemning the #metoo movement. I was condemning the people that use it to deny the accused of due process. This isn't the 1950's anymore but what is happening is McCarthyism all over again. If you are the victim of a crime take it to the police not social media and not Congress and not some damn movement. I was raped. I went to the police and I fought for justice. He's behind bars where he belongs. On the flip, my husband fired a driver for failure to follow safety protocols and he was hit with a sexual discrimination lawsuit because the driver was gay. It cost us over $68,000 to fight that and we won but our only recourse to recover our losses is to sue a penniless driver. Austin hired him knowing he was gay and gave him the same quality runs as the other drivers. It didn't matter to him what his sexual orientation was. All he cared about was his ability to deliver runs safely on time. The guy failed and was canned. He failed to properly secure a load and items were damaged. We lost a contract because of that. That might not mean much to you but it was a loss of over $216,000 a year in revenue to us. Insurance paid the damages and then jacked our rates by 6%. The driver received a written warning according to our policy and was limited to local runs for 60 days. On his third run under restriction he sideswiped a car backing in to the loading dock and caused $3800 damage so Austin fired him. Now all of this was documented but he sued us for sexual discrimination in his termination. We paid the damages to the car to avoid another insurance claim and then had to pay an attorney almost $70,000 to fight the discrimination claims. How is that fair? Huh? You tell me. Sure we won the suit but still had to pay our lawyers and they said the only way to recoup our losses is go after the driver who doesn't have squat. That's why I am so pissed off about all of these allegations of abuse and sexual assault and discrimination without giving the accused their day in court. Innocent until proven guilty.
    Let that sink in too. You are innocent until proven guilty.
    I proved my attacker guilty by going to the police and allowing him to defend himself. The justice system found him guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and sent him to prison. My husband was falsely accused of sexual discrimination in firing an unsafe driver and was forced to spend more than most people earn a year in attorney fees to fight the lies. I did what was right so it was a win. Austin did nothing wrong but was forced to pay huge sums because of an accusation. Where is the justice in that? Careers are being stripped away from people because of allegations. Families are being torn apart and fortunes are being lost all because someone wants to run to social media or Congress or a committee or a movement without giving the accused a chance to defend themselves. That's bullshit and it makes me hate where our country is headed.
    So there is where I stand. I'm pro Constitution, pro due process, pro victims' rights as long as the letter of the law is followed, pro choice and have no sympathy for people that demand their rights be respected while pissing on the rights of others. If you are still reading you either agree with me or are formulating a comeback to refute what I've said. That's your right just don't directly attack me for having an opinion that differs from yours and I will show you the same respect.
    So as Terry suggested I have put out where I stand in black and white and hopefully you know a bit more about me. For those of you still fixated with the fact that I am an exotic dancer you can read a bit of my story on the fantasy football thread. I'm open to questions and challenges as long as they are respectful.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2018
  2. InMyImage

    InMyImage Geeky blip :) Staff Member

    Hi, I’m Bill, the owner of VapingBlips. I have been dealing with some personal issues (we could possibly be kindred spirits) so I haven’t been around in quite awhile, but I get emails every time anyone makes a post in this section to make sure there aren’t any problems I need to be aware of...

    It should be clear that I don’t have any money dea what might have been brewing in the FFL thread, but appreciate your taking Terry’s advice and posting it to a new thread.

    I personally agree with most of your points and have discussed the fact that metoo was eventually going to become a tool for witch hunts and revenge.

    This doesn’t mean that I supported Kavanaugh in any way, or Trump for that matter even though I am a republican, although I’m a socially liberal republican. Personally I wanted Colin Powell to run. R’s were going to get a judge they wanted either way and as a “survivor” of physical abuse when I was 5 and married to a woman who was molested throughout her childhood by multiple extended family members and then abused by their wifes/girlfriends and raped as an adult to top things off along with other issues stemming from PTSD and bi-polar, it simply would have been better for them to pick someone else.

    Anyway I can definitely empathize with the traumatic events in your life and am happy to hear that you have been able to build a successful business and found an outlet to express yourself that you obviously enjoy and most likely find empowering.

    I’m sorry if you have experienced some unpleasantness here. Unless the membership has dramatically changed over the past year or so, the people here are good people, but they are in two camps, a liberal group which normally represents the participants in the FFL and Alternate Universe, and the conservative group that hangs out in The Beach.

    I hope that things didn’t get to a point that might drive you away, but things will always be smoother with some topic and opinion separation although things always seem to bleed over when politics starts to bleed into a thread. Political wars were specifically what caused this forum section to get created.

    Anyhow, I hope that you continue being a blip! :thumbs:
     
  3. Trax

    Trax Dedicated Poster

    Now on to what I have learned which is the point of this thread. I greatly respect a certain someone and incorporate so much of his wisdom into my daily life. He won't be mentioned by name here because I'm sure he would probably refute everything I say in praise of him but I hope he knows I have been listening and learning. Beyond that you can draw your own conclusions. For the sake of being clear just assume that everything I say is my opinion unless I put it in quotes. Does this have a place in a political section? Probably because I'm going to talk politics and belief and opinion and couldn't find a better place here.
    First topic. "Nobody makes you feel anything. What you tell yourself determines how you feel."
    I started with this one because it is both the hardest one for me to grasp and the one tht has made the biggest difference in my life. I'm an emotional and passionate girl. I'm easily hurt and I rely on the approval of others a lot to influence how I feel about me. A sunny day makes me happy and mean people make me sad but he has taught me that isn't true. Instead I have learned that what I tell myself about a sunny day determines how I feel about it. I get mad at rude people because of what I tell myself about the situation. I say that they shouldn't be like that and they shouldn't be allowed to act like that and that it's wrong. By telling myself that I am trying to enforce my judgement on reality by deciding how things should be. When they don't conform to my prejudgement, it creates a conflict in me that influences how I feel. Not right. They shouldn't. Not fair. Wrong. Statements like that set me up for a negative response and I have negative feelings as a result. The truth is that reality isn't bound to my judgements. It is what it is and if I change what I tell myself about a situation then I can change how I feel about it.
    The example he used with me is going to the bank. I'll do my best to relay the spirit of what he said if not the exact words so bear with me. He told me to imagine myself standing in line at the bank on my lunch break. I've only got a half an hour and want to cash my check. There are 2 people in front of me. The first is an elderly woman that spends 5 minutes chatting about her grandkids to the teller so I'm looking at my watch getting pissed because she is taking too long. She leaves and the next guy drops a load of unwrapped coins on the counter. I get more aggravated because I tell myself that he shouldn't be able to that. Doesn't he know I'm in a hurry? I'll get fired if I'm late back to work! Why me? Why do I always get stuck behind people like this? This sucks! See what I did? I told myself how wrong things were based on the way I thought they should be and I had negative feelings as a result. The older lady didn't make me mad and the guy with ten bucks worth of loose change didn't either. What I told myself is what made me mad. Reality conflicted with my judgement of right and wrong. Can I change reality? Nopers. Can I change what I tell myself? You bet. So now let's change that inner dialog. Instead of telling myself that she is taking too much time talking to the teller how would I feel if I told myself that it was heartwarming to know that she had such pride in her family? Would I be mad or would I feel compassion and empathy? Would I get pissed or would I realize that the teller might be the only person she had to talk to? Would it remind me to call my own Nana and brighten her day? How about the guy with the change? Do I really always get stuck behind someone like that? Will I really get fired if I'm 2 minutes late back? Have I ever been the person with the change? Maybe he spent the whole morning walking beside a road collecting cans so he could feed his family. Do I absolutely have to cash my check right now? Did reality change? No but how I feel now is totally different because of what I told myself.
    So is telling myself good things about a sunny day wrong? Not at all. Reminding myself how good the sun feels on my skin creates a feeling of joy and marveling at the wonderful colors and scents is absolute bliss. Putting on my headphones and going out for a run and working up a good sweat cleanses me and feels so good. Those inner conversations reinforce the positive but I could just as easily tell myself that I'm risking a muscle strain or could get abducted along the path and ruin the whole experience.
    So how have I applied this to real life? I have a pet peave. Austin would come in from the road and toss his coat on the back of a chair. His boots would end up somewhere near the couch. Paperwork would get flung on the table. My first reaction would be to cuss him out. I try my best to get things clean and orderly and neat both because I like it like that and for him because it's always nice to come home to a clean home. I would get so mad thinking he didn't care and didn't appreciate all the things I did. But then I stopped to realize that he is just coming off days on the road and has to get into the office without any rest to handle all the things it takes to run a business. I remembered all the times I've come home at 2 a.m. beat tired and all I can think about is getting a drink and hitting the bed. I'll clean up in the morning. Damn. Who am I told hold that against him when I do the same thing? He busts his ass making a good life for us and I can only imagine how exhausted he must get. Coming home must be such a huge relief for him. The reality didn't change but I now feel different about it because of what I tell myself. Am I perfect at it? No not anywhere close and I struggle to remind myself to see another side but I'm getting better and so is my life as a result.
     
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  4. Trax

    Trax Dedicated Poster

    Well Heidi Ho Bill! I've heard Terry mention you. I'm one of his customers at his shop and he got me to sign up here to play fantasy football. I hang out with him in the shop a lot because I work evenings and he has sort of filled me in on some of the members that I ask about. Thank you for sharing some of your story with me because I know Terry speaks highly of you and why you created this forum. So if he likes you then I'm sure we'll get along too. Unless I shove my foot in my mouth which I am known to do a lot! :D
     
  5. InMyImage

    InMyImage Geeky blip :) Staff Member

    Won’t take him long to figure out who you are talking about, he s a very wise and very level headed man which is why I asked him to be an admin knowing the site would be in very good hands while I crawled into a hole and backfilled the opening...

    My wife responds to situations much like your example. I am permanently disabled and she had to go back to work after being a stay at home mom for 10 years so that she could help make up at least a portion of the income my disability insurance policy didn’t cover. It can be very difficult for her when she comes home to a mess knowing that I’ve just been “laying around” all day, every day. After some time she calms down but after a 12 hour swing shift taking care of old people all night she can be a bit cranky when she gets home. It doesn’t help that her idea of clean is very very different than mine :whistle:

    From your second reply, it is great that you are so close with Terry. I’ve never met him but imagine he’s as great in person as he is online.
     
  6. Trax

    Trax Dedicated Poster

    I hate him a little bit. Lol. Not really but kind of sorta. I got to know him brcause of my brother being in rehab. Long long long story short Terry taught my whole family that we were loving my brother to death by enabling him. He taught us all a very tough kind of love that saved my bro's life. Every time I go to him for help or advice he never gives it to me but gives me what he calls tools to come up with the answers myself. So yeah I love him and hate him at the same time if that makes sense. It sucks you going through the things you have to and have been through in the past. I'm sorry for that. As far as Terry goes he is the same person on line as in real life. He never changes and that's another reason I got that hate/love thing for him.
     
  7. TheWestPole

    TheWestPole A hit on Mr. Mitty

    Not at all, @Trax. Your point about due process was clearly understood and none disagreed with it. You were respectfully engaged on the value and implications of #metoo, especially your assertion of injustice repeated above. You chose not to acknowledge those posts and to disengage completely.
     
  8. Trax

    Trax Dedicated Poster

    For the record it wasn't my choice to disengage. I did it at the suggestion of Terry because I guess more than one member private messaged him complaining that I was violating their safe space. Seriously he used the words safe space. Thats what someone said. On a political forum? FFS! I guess it's fine to bash the beliefs of others with snarky little cartoons and memes but God forbid someone else respectfully expresses a different point of view. Even your first interaction with me was with a snide comment questioning my truthfulness and then passive aggressively explained it away by saying the reason you questioned it was you didn't know me. Now to anyone reading this you can rest assured that Terry didn't name any names or even give me any indication who the members that ran to him and I respect that in fact I wouldn't expect anything other from him. He's an honest straight shooter that does his best to respect others even if he disagrees with them. I wish I could say the same for me. You see I hoped this could be a place to have some fun playing fantasy football and maybe even engage in some mutually enlightening debate as long as it was in the correct thread. I guess I was very wrong about that. Respectful mature adults can take part in a debate without getting bent and running to a moderator. I didn't attack anyone. I didn't insult anyone. I didn't disrespect anyone unless you count expressing a differing opinion disrespectful. Wait. My bad. Of course some people find that offensive and disrespectful. What was I thinking? Now go ahead and comment all you want. Tell me I'm wrong all you want. Run to Terry all you want because I won't be here to read any of it. I'm done. Oh and btw THIS is what willful and voluntary disengagement looks like. Trax out.
     
  9. TheWestPole

    TheWestPole A hit on Mr. Mitty

    It was neither of these things, and was completely because I'd never seen you in that thread before nor anywhere else. Jeesh.
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2018
  10. TheWestPole

    TheWestPole A hit on Mr. Mitty

    Okay, I understand now that it wasn't your choice to disengage. As to someone "running to a moderator" after your post, I'm sorry that happened and really surprised that it did. Your post was certainly on a hot button issue, but it was sincere and serious and worthy of further discussion or debate.

    You say you're out though, so I don't know why I'm evening replying. o_O
     
  11. Lisa66

    Lisa66 Read my blips

    If you are still around: I am sorry that you feel like we drove you away. That was never any intent of mine (far from it), and I believe that is true of others on that thread. I am one of the people who approached ghost in PM because I really didn't understand where the outburst(s) was coming from and wondered what it was that you took offense to.....and that was the only concern I addressed. I still don't understand what specifically it is that you refer to, or why you would make assumptions about us making unfavorable assumptions about you. What I see, after back reading over and over, trying to understand, is at most disagreement; I'm really not seeing any personal attack. That's the heart of political discussion, no? And: I don't really care what you do for a living (and had no idea until you made an issue out of it), as long as it works for you and makes sense for you. Please don't automatically assume that I, or the others, are so judgmental.

    Again, I'm very sorry that you are disappointed in your experience here. It's always good to have different viewpoints that can be discussed. If you should ever decide to come back, I would welcome (and practice) respectful discussion.