Discussion in 'Purely Social' started by jj2, Nov 18, 2015.
Oh good then you can go back upstairs to the bench
Hey there JJ
I need one of those days.
Maybe, eventually, one will come along.
Dentist visit went fine. Did Internet order from Walmart---where they bring it out to the car. I really like this. I think they missed one item. Have to check the trunk to make sure it's not there and, if not, have to deal with their booboo.
Papa Murphy's Pizza for supper. Got the family size and separated it for meals. Most for DH. Makes it easy for times that come up when I'm not here.
Just got the cinnamon roll out of the over.
Nothing sweet worth having here I’ve banned peanut m&m’s from my life and my favorite potato chips
Uncontrollable eating of said products = weight gain - high BP
Saying good night beach, yawning my head off already
Night Dale..........hope tomorrow is easy and it goes fast............sleep tight.
After much consideration, I have to post this...
"Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion is our 20th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Karen. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing Karen adequate time to retreat to safety.
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the thing and pushed the button.. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Karen what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, with our new cat Bella looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Bella (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with a magnifying glass trying to read those directions in such fine print in one hand, and the Tazer in another.
The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Bella looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT IN THE WORLD JUST HAPPEN!!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making weird sounds I had never heard before, running around the lamp by the couch, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was not a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My magnifying glass? Well I still haven't found it. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.. I had no control over the drooling, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
PS: Karen can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!"
Just thought everyone would get a good laugh. Seeing how we are coming up on our 20th. Happy anniversary dear.
Looks like everyone has disappeared so I'm gonna scoot.
Sun if you stop by, I'm so sorry.
Thank you, jj. Today was the day. Company got up and left about 6:00 a.m. and I called the vet for a consultation. Lola had gotten progressively worse over the last week with swelling down the side of her nose to the point that her right eye was almost swollen shut. She didn't seem in pain but she did quit eating her nightly treats, and seemed to just subsist on a handful of dry food. No interest in the wet food anymore. Yesterday the swelling in her nose and eye went down and this awful mucus started running from both eyes and nose. I was sort of hopeful that a round of doxycycline might help but the vet could see the visible mass protruding into her throat, so I decided the kindest thing was to go ahead with euthanasia this morning. I held back my tears best I could, I held her and loved her, I petted her and praised my good girl as the doping shot worked its magic to calm and put her into a doze, and then I kept my hand on her side as the last shot was administered and felt her last breath. It's been a rough day and I am head achey from crying. Still, I did what needed to be done and feel good about being able to do that for her.
Sweet dreams, beach.
Big, big hugs to you, Sun!! It hurts so much, I know. I am so sorry you are having to go through this pain.
((Sun)).....your post made me cry with you. Heart is going out.
Sorry for your loss Sun. Knowing you've done the right thing by her is some comfort but I know how bad that hurts at the same time.
Good morning beach
(((Hugs))) Sun all of us ache for you
Good morning Darlin.
And good morning Beach. Another beautiful day on God's planet. Think I forgot to mention my Jeep broke down yesterday. Stopped at a red light a couple of miles from here and heard something blow under the hood. Steam blew out and I called AAA to take it to the shop. It was late afternoon so the mechanic is going to look at it today. Guess I should get something newer than 20 years old but I really like that car.
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